Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
