Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's shark week go big or go home
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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