just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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