girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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