Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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