I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My balls are so social today.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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