At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
