After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
