Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
