Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize
