And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
