Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
