So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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