I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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