the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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