i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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