nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
