You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Houston, we have a blender
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
