We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
