New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
