If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
