Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
