dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
