conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
