I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
