love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
