I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
