The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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