just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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