I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
