Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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