I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Randomize
