Dual....:-)
Is it because I queefed?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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