okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
