Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
