dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
