the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
