He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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