If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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