3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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