My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
