just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
