Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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