Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
