Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
