It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just found puke in my bra..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
