this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My breasts were aching with rage.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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