dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week š
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him āBeast Modeā. So. Many. Orgasms.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so Iām going to see where this goes
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