David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
