At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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